So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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