Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
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