I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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