look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
