508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
