I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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