We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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