Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
