He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
