What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
