Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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