I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
