I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
