Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
