We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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