White coat. Heels.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
