Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
