you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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