Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
