We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
