I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
