Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
