I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
