You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
