She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
