Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
