at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
