i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
