i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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