There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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