that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
