How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
