i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
