My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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