Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
