i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
