i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
