Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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