My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
