therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
