HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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