I hate all girls vehemently.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
