Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
