Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
