I love black thongs
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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