he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
