mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Just cropdusted the office
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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