At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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