4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I came so hard my ears popped.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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