Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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