so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
