Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
